Sunday, October 25, 2009


I had a hard morning. Work was stressful for a variety of reasons. I was too hungry when I ate lunch so I ate too fast. I started my ride in a funk. I ride first to the pharmacy to pick something up and then on towards Mt Tabor. I can't seem to shake the funk, though so I veer off into the neighborhood, riding on some new streets. I ride directly in front of a beautiful school and take a picture. They should make all schools that pretty. As I ride back towards Tabor I see a splash of yellow and some beautiful roses.
I get into Tabor park and get smoked going up the hill by a 12 year old all clipped in on a snazzy road bike. I can't shake the funk and end up tearing up when I see the beautiful tree I shot last week all withered and almost leafless as it prepares for winter. I decide that I must do the hill again...I can't finish like this. Snazzy road bike kid passes me again.
I get stuck a lot feeling like a failure, or rather that I am not measuring up. I think it is a human problem because people that I think are so much more successful than me tend to get jealous of my life and my successes. As I am riding down the hill I ponder the human condition, the feelings of insecurity that plague us all. Snazzy road bike kid passes me a third time.
I make my way back up and about half way up remember the decision that I made after getting home from Finland. The purpose of my life is to love my husband and see the world. I feel instantly different. Alive. Happy. I make my way to the top feeling like a whole new person. How many times have I done that on this mountain? Been stuck in one way of thinking and then moving through to the other side one pedal at a time.
I round the top and make my way back down. Snazzy road bike kid passes me a fourth time. I feel so pleased with myself for the transformation I have made that I stop on the way home for some sushi to eat after my sauna.

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